Understanding Host Country Challenges and Expectations

(This article is an excerpt from the book Echoes of Arrival: Ruth’s Letters to Immigrants.)

By Karl Balloch

Dear Fellow immigrants,

I have been through the challenges of migration and I know how the people in the Western and European countries may feel uncomfortable towards refugees and immigrants like you. Host countries’ concerns on the integration of newcomers could be understood as opportunities to address  misunderstandings and ease genuine anxieties with empathy and respect. 

You should determine that how necessary it is to get rid of the stereotypes such as corruption, bribery or deceit that the some regions or countries are infamous for when you are leaving your native country with hopes for a bright future then you have to win the trust of your host country by proving yourselves that you are a law abiding, honest with the government resources and appreciate the social ethics and lifestyle.

Well, if the people in your new country are concerned that refugees do not observe the principles of equal rights for women and girls within their family or community circles then it is necessary to change and erase those customs which produce misconceptions and hostility. I assure you that enabling women and girls to access education and work and exercise their rights in other areas of life helps to change the misperception of people about your region, religion and culture. You have to support equality and freedom, as these are traditions which are compatible with the values of  your new home. You should show your transparency and be open and accessible for the host society, not  being confined to community limitations, as refugees.

Civic Responsibility: Upholding the Law

You play a significant role as an immigrant in advocating for a safe  and just society in which the laws and human rights of the host country are stand for and  observed. If you sense that illegal activities such as drug dealing or exploitation of vulnerable family members are taking place, you realize that it is your responsibility to report these issues to the relevant government agencies. Skipping such offenses are not only harmful to the persons involved but also affects the image of the entire migrant community.  It has been observed that there are concerns among some members of the host country that certain immigrant communities may have a tendency to underreport cases of unlawful activities and violations of human rights, particularly women rights within their circles. Such perspection leads to a lot of mistrust and segregation.  This perception has to be changed by ensuring that the law is obeyed within immigrants limitations.   A not so pleasant experience that I have gained is that offenses committed by migrants are likely to have more  severe social impacts than those committed by locals. People are always quick to point out faults to migrants.  A local offender could be seen as just a person who has broken the law, but a migrant in  the same situation might be considered ungrateful or even a threat for entire communal harmony. It is rightly expected that the newcomers should be law-abiding since they have been placed in the community based on compassion and protection . This can be quite frustrating, but  it is something that refugees cannot help but take seriously and address in the right manner.  Throughout history, and not only in modern Europe, many societies have been much harsher, and  more hostile, towards non-native individuals committing crimes than they are towards those who are native to the  community. However, the law is supposed to work the same for everyone—it’s not about the person,  it’s about the crime. In the eyes of the law, justice is blind, it doesn’t  see a person’s colour or where they are from. But in everyday life, people tend to judge  people by the person, not the crime. This is the way that communities work, although it is  contrary to the principles of the law but it is a natural and unwritten law of human societies.

Meeting Expectations: Crafting Your Future

Most refugees are fleeing from injustice, war and corruption and when they get to a new country they are thankful for the chance to start over and want to give back positively. Now take a man who is a migrant and has come to Finland to seek asylum from violence. He is very much grateful for the opportunity to begin again and has the desire that he has to contribute something. He sees other migrants succeeding in sports, music, politics and business and he wants to do the same.

But he also knows that if he gets involved in crime or joins street gangs, he may be destroying his future. There is a great probability that those migrants who are aware of the expectations that the host society has for them and attempt to fulfill them will be more successful. They prove that they have come to add value and striving to change the misconception of society and not by breaking the laws.

Every action you take is an opportunity to prove yourselves to your new country and show that you are here to stay. I made it as a refugee because I knew what it is like to be part of the host society on my own journey. The Israeli refugees who arrived in Moab, I had certain expectations of when I was living there. I have finally understood that my new country has the same expectations regarding me since I have become a refugee myself.

For example, When Naomi was a refugee in Moab, there was something that made me happy for Naomi to put on our traditional blouse that I had gifted her, it showed her she cared about my culture. Hence, when I became a refugee I decided to follow the traditions of my new country. Also, it was quite charming when Chilion and Mahlon made efforts to speak my language, even though it was not easy for them to speak. With this in mind, I did not think twice about attempting to speak in the Bethlehem accent and was not afraid of making mistakes speaking it. People could see that I was trying and it was fun for them to have a conversation with me.

This is similar to the Golden Rule in which we are told to treat others the way we want to be treated. In this way, we can always ensure that we are respecting, thankful, and trying our best to integrate into the community that has welcomed us.

Breaking Free 

Ever since the beginning, I made up my mind to prepare myself mentally for the change which would lead me to another world where I had to distance myself from the cultural practices that used to influence me in the past. This was not a rejection of my culture or my society; instead, it was an acknowledgment of the fact that the culture and life I had experienced in Moab were specific to that environment as mentioned earlier. They were excellent in that context, but I had to accept that they might not be the best for me in a new social environment.

In order to be successful in my new environment, I had to show respect for the culture I came from as well as accept the norms and principles of the new society. This was not an easy decision. It took courage, wisdom, and a willingness to change and adapt. I told myself the old saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” In Moab, I had a clear understanding of the do’s and don’ts of society and social life. Following this rule makes it sure that one will be accepted, wanted and valued. On the other hand, violating this rule of adaptability may result in rejection, segregation, and even embarrassment.

I have seen people who are caught in this trap and how they lose their self-esteem. The need for acceptance can become a psychological prison that makes people act out of fear—fear of being judged, fear of being rejected. Over time, this fear takes away from them their ability to think for themselves or even follow their own conscience. When I left Moab, I realized that the social checklist I had once lived by was no longer useful. It did not pertain to my new life and therefore was of no use to me. Therefore, I decided to leave not only the physical land but also the traditions and social rules that confined me mentally to that land.

Let me repeat and remind you again that when I moved to Bethlehem with my mother-in-law, Naomi, I decided not to allow the social rules of Moab to control my life. This choice together with my self-esteemed belief system enabled me to start over as a free person. My first real challenge in this new life was meeting our basic needs. It was tough to earn enough to survive, especially with the weight of old traditions still hovering over my head. But I decided to work through those influences, to look at my past with clear eyes, and to instead work towards a future that would see me succeed. That meant shedding the social controls that once shaped my life.

For many refugees and immigrants, it is very difficult to break away from the culture that has been ingrained in them. Pride, shame, and morality are usually incorporated into these traditions and it is difficult to let go of them. The fear of being rejected and criticized can be rather crippling. I have especially seen this struggle for women, especially those from conservative families or from developing countries. Even when they move to more liberal societies, they often feel like they have to prove to their families and elders in far away lands that they are still living the same lifestyles in Europe.

They have to prove that they are still following conservative practices and that they still adhere to the traditional values and norms, even when these clashes with the human, and women rights and freedoms. Ironically, by keeping up with these traditional values and practices while living in a new country, they actually contribute to the negative stereotyping of their native culture, religion, and even their country. This role can be especially frustrating for young people born in modern societies, who are also expected to conform to the expectations of their conservative elders, while also trying to navigate, and integrate to a new, more liberated society.

In such a scenario, women are especially affected emotionally and mentally as they attempt to satisfy the requirements of their culture while living in an open society. They are caught between two worlds; they have to decide where to give their allegiance to, the traditional values of their culture or the freedoms that they can now enjoy. This task requires self-assessment and self-evaluation for which a person should ask himself some critical questions. How much of my previous lifestyle should I bring with me? Which traditions and customs should I follow, and which of them may be inappropriate or limiting myself in the new environment? How can I become part of my new society without abandoning myself, my traditions and culture? How can I introduce myself and my family so that people will not have suspicion or concern about my religion, region and race?

It may not be easy to answer these questions. But a call for self assessment and realization for making an individual space and creating a social space with open-mindness, and willingness to adapt, appreciate and integrate smoothly to the host community.