Nobody Wants to Say This, But Someone Has to

Karl Balloch

 The idea of writing this post came to me after seeing a social media post about police deporting a convicted immigrant from Finland, and the celebrations that followed was enough to prove that people are getting deep interest in such news and incidents. It is not easy to say these things, but I believe this is the right time to speak.

A decade ago, Europe opened its doors to welcome refugees fleeing from war zones of the Middle East. During the 2014–2016 crisis, leaders declared, “We can do this.” Thanks to that kindness, millions of refugees found safety, a future, and a second chance in various EU countries.

Today, the mood across the EU feels different. The welcome is still there, but it is losing its warmth. Many European leaders now speak with clear concern about immigration. This is not just politics , it is about trust. And once trust is lost, it is very hard to rebuild it.

Before we point fingers at Europeans, we should look at ourselves with sincerity and truth.

From Welcome to Worry

A few years ago, many Europeans viewed immigrants as families escaping war, persecution, or hardship. They offered us safety and equal rights, even though it came at a real cost in money, effort, and social energy. The treated us with dignity, and gave us the same opportunities as their own citizens.

What has changed? Leaders are now raising concerns. For example:

• Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni has stressed that those who choose to live in another country must respect its laws, culture, and traditions.
• Swedish Prime Minister Ulf Kristersson has openly said, “We do have a problem with integration.”
• Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen has adopted a much stricter stance on immigration.
• In Finland, Finance Minister Riikka Purra has warned about the pressure mass immigration places on the welfare system.
• At the EU level, Commission President Ursula von der Leyen continues to emphasize stronger border management.

Indeed, many Europeans still support immigration and value human rights. The real issue is not how many support immigration and how many oppose it. The real question is, how well integration is actually working.?

The Honest Truth: Integration Is Not Simple

Let us speak plainly. Many of us come from strong, conservative cultural backgrounds where family, tradition, religion, and respect for elders are deeply valued. These are good values, and they do not fundamentally clash with European laws and social norms.

Yet when we arrive, we sometimes struggle to understand the new society around us. We do not ”understand” the host society right after our arrival because we are coming from far away.If we do not try to experience it by ourselves individually. Misinformation and rumours keep us always AWAY.  Fears chain our progress and stop our integration.Integration does not mean erasing who we are. But it also cannot mean living completely apart , isolated in our own communities, languages, and social circles , even if we justify it through culture or religion. True integration means learning to live together respectfully.

Where We Can Do Better

Here are four practical areas where small changes from our side can help reclaim trust:

1. Respect for Gender Equality

   In Europe, women and men are treated as equals under the law , in public life, work places, and family matters. Behaviors such as prolonged staring,  controlling attitudes, or ignoring personal space can cause real discomfort. We may not agree with every cultural difference, but respecting the rules and norms of the host society is basic decency and expected from everybody.

2. Everyday Public Behavior

   Small habits matter. Queuing properly, speaking politely and calmly, respecting personal space, and following rules in public spaces signal respect. In many of our home cultures, these things may feel unreasonably formal. In Finland and much of Europe, they help build trust, earn respect and appreciation.

3. Avoiding Isolation

   It is natural to feel comfortable staying within our own community , same language, same friends, same social media groups. But if we remain only in those circles, we will never belong to the land and people who adopted us. We should make an effort to join local events, greet neighbors, and learn basic words of the local language. Connecting with the host society does not weaken our roots , it makes our branches stronger.

4. Upholding the Law

   This is painful to say, but when even a small number of immigrants break the law , disrespect women , shout at officers or become involved in crime, it damages the reputation of the entire community. Trust erodes quickly, and it explains why many countries are tightening rules. One person’s actions can affect thousands others. We must hold ourselves and each other to high standards.

What Happened After 2015?

The arrival of large numbers of refugees in the EU in a short time put real pressure on housing, schools, healthcare, jobs, and social services. Cultural misunderstandings arose, and some rules were broken. Europeans began to feel bewildered. This worry gradually injected into politics: new parties gained support, and even mainstream ones had to adopt stricter migration policies.

Thank God that Europe has not lost its kind heart. It is simply asking for balance , and that request is fair and must be responded with care and character.

The Way Forward

This is not the time for disappointment. It is time for action, dignity, and responsibility.

Europe still needs skilled professionals, healthcare workers, drivers, technicians, caregivers, and others. There is space here, but there are also clear expectations.

To rebuild trust, we can:

• Learn the local language , even basic words, makes a big difference.
• Work with full dignity , no job is too small.
• Respect every law , no shortcuts.
• Raise our children to value both their beliefs and respect others’.
• Take part in local events and festivals, and make an effort to meet people in the host community rather than remaining invisible.

Small gestures make a big positive impression: saying “kiitos” (thank you) when someone helps, greeting neighbors, properly disposing of recyclables, and wastes, being transparent with tax obligations, and practicing good timing at work.. These are not big demands, they are ” usual routines” and visible signs of respect and gratitude.

Some leaders, like Riikka Purra or Viktor Orbán, speak in strong tones. Beneath their harsh words, they are calling for respect for laws and active participation in society. We may dislike their tone, but we should listen to the message.

Look, we should not respond with anger or start pointing fingers, and calling everything racist. We should respond with care and character, through our daily actions.

Remembering acts of kindness and being grateful help us develop a positive attitude.

What To Remember

Finland gave us safety, hope and opportunity when we needed it most. Now it is our turn to give something back.

Let us not live as strangers. Let us not live in parallel societies. Let us live with dignity, responsibility, and gratitude.

What do you think? Do you agree with any of these points? What has been your own experience living between two cultures?